Better Off Divorced Read online

  “And maybe he can talk to the owner about money and paying benefits,” the woman said.

  I️ peered back at my group. They looked like they were playing a combination of leapfrog and hopscotch. I️ decided to keep talking to my new friends. As I️ turned around to face them, I saw John walking through the entrance, his buzzed blond head shining in the sun. I️ couldn’t believe it. I️ wondered what it took to get a restraining order.

  He was staring at the group, and I️ could tell he hadn’t seen me yet. I️ turned my back to him and walked closer to the picketers.

  Pilgrim woman must have noticed I️ was trying to hide my head in my shoulders because she asked, “Do you know that guy?”

  Pilgrim man studied him. “He definitely isn’t the guy who picked out that diamond.”

  “The ex,” I️ whispered. “The fat-kidneyed strumpet he left me for just left him and now he’s trying to convince me we should get back together for the kids’ sake.”

  Pilgrim man looked him up and down. “Did he even give you a diamond when he proposed?”

  “We were young and poor, and I️ was stupid. I️ settled for a plain band with a single, small, flawed diamond that is now part of another ring.”

  “I’d stay away from him based on his taste in rocks alone,” Pilgrim guy said.

  “I️ wish. Unfortunately, we have kids and therefore we will be tied to each other until the end of the world.” I️ peeked at John and quickly turned back to the Pilgrims before he saw me. “I’ve never hoped for the end of the world more than I️ have these last few days. When do we vote for president again? Maybe the next loonie we elect will finally do the job. I️ should find out how I️ can help with the election.”

  “He just spotted you,” Pilgrim guy said.

  I️ grabbed his hat and put it on while trying to hunch more. My back was beginning to hurt.

  “Hey!” Pilgrim guy said and grabbed his hat back.

  John arrived next to me and looked between me and my two new Pilgrim friends. He put his hands in his jeans’ pockets. “Who are they?” He motioned to the Pilgrims with his chin.

  “They're Pilgrims,” I️ said.

  “Real ones?”

  Pilgrim guy and Pilgrim lady looked at John open mouthed. I️ was used to him being an idiot so I️ simply said, “Yes.”

  John nodded a few times then turned his body toward me. “Mind if I️ hang out for a while?”

  I️ turned my body toward the Pilgrims so my right side was at an angle with John. “Well, if you hang out here, then you have to come up with a good slogan for picketing Pilgrims.” I️ glared at him. “Wait. You paid to get in here to hang out?”

  He had the decency to turn red. “I️ thought it would be better to be away from the kids and talk.”

  I️ motioned to the area around us. “And talk around Pilgrims instead?”

  “Well, it seemed to be a good way to get back to the beginning.”

  “That was a good joke,” Pilgrim guy said matter-of-factly “even if he would never buy a decent diamond.”

  “What's that supposed to mean?” John asked.

  “Your ex-wife, here, has a great new guy,” Pilgrim lady said, adjusting her waist-coat. “We let her know that we approve.”

  “You know Sam?” John said with a smirk.

  “Very mature,” I️ said. “His name is Simon and John knows that. He just wants him to have a plain name like he does.”

  “Plain diamond. Plain name. I️ see a pattern,” Pilgrim guy said. He cleared his throat and widened his stance.

  John gawked at him and then at me. “What exactly is going on? Are you getting a job here or something?”

  I️ shook my head. “But you should start talking about whatever you wanted to talk to me about.”

  John pointed toward the church then put his hand back in his pocket. “What if we go over there and talk?”

  “Whatever you want to say to me, you can say to the Pilgrims.”

  Pilgrim lady and guy nodded.

  “She’s not going anywhere,” Pilgrim lady said. “I️ don’t know if you can be trusted yet. There’s safety in numbers.”

  John leaned back on his heels. “She was married to me.”

  “People marry nutjobs all the time,” Pilgrim lady said. “I️ know my sister did. He seemed like such a nice gent and took the dog out every time he needed to go. Even in the winter. Then, one day, poof. My sister walks in on him in women’s underwear, fishnet stockings, and stilettos. None of it would’ve been a big deal if they weren’t so expensive.”

  I️ looked at her, waiting for her to explain more.

  “He used to yell at my sister if she bought anything for herself that didn’t come from a box store. These were custom made. Then he refused to admit he’d spent any money on them. It got weird after that. I️ mean, if you’re gonna buy custom women’s underwear, at least get some for you wife.”

  “Are they still together?” Pilgrim guy asked.

  “Separated. I️ think she’s going to file but wants to find out how much he spent first and spend it on herself.”

  I️ put my hand on my hip. “She should just start buying things and stop worrying about it.”

  Pilgrim guy nodded a couple of times.

  Pilgrim woman clasped her hands together and let them hang in front of her. “I️ keep telling her but what can I️ do? Somethings people just have to figure out for themselves.”

  “And Grace and I️ should figure out our own things for ourselves as well,” John said.

  “We already did that,” I️ said. I put my hands on my hips. “Now we're going to work on these things with Pilgrims.”

  Pilgrim guy and lady folded their arms and locked their knees. I️ turned around to face John and folded my arms as well. "We’re a team now. I️ help them picket and they help me work through old demons.”

  “I’m not a demon,” John said. “And shouldn’t you be with your group of students, Grace? That is why you’re here after all.”

  “Firstly, you’re here to talk to me, which would take me away from that group anyhow. And second, they’re adults with four guides taking them around.” I️ gave a nod of my head to emphasize my points.

  John folded his arms. “Fine. I’ll just say what I️ came here to say.”

  All three of us stood there, waiting.

  “Well,” Pilgrim guy said.

  “Okay, okay.” John pressed his hands down. “Calm down. I️ just need a minute to collect my thoughts.”

  “Seems like he should’ve done that before he paid for admission,” Pilgrim lady mumbled. Pilgrim guy and I️ nodded agreement.

  “I️ wasn’t expecting to talk to a group,” John said. “I’m trying to think if I️ should rephrase what I’d come up with.”

  The three of us stood with our arms folded. I️ should get a job here. These were good people. If only they gave better benefits.

  John rubbed his hand through his hair. “What if you and I️ started dating?”

  “She’s engaged.” Pilgrim guy pointed at me with his thumb. “And we like Simon.”

  “How do you even know him?” John said loudly.

  “Some things you just know,” Pilgrim guy said. “And I️ know this.”

  John took a deep breath and slowly let it out. I️ liked him having to stay calm around other people. He would’ve yelled if it were just him and me. “Fine. He’s a good guy. But that doesn’t mean I’m a bad guy.” He looked smug, like he’d made a good point.

  “If you’re such a good guy, why are you two divorced?” Pilgrim lady said with her chin pointed at John. “Huh?” She looked at me. “You want to tell us?”

  I️ shook my head no. “I️ think it’s John’s story to tell.”

  “We grew apart,” John said.

  “Tell them why,” I️ said. I️ wanted to know if he actually would.

  “Look. We both made mistakes.”

  “Let’s hear yours,” Pilgrim lady said. She folde
d her arms again. Pilgrim guy and I️ joined her.

  It takes two to get a divorce,” John said.

  “Eeeh,” Pilgrim lady made a buzzer sound. “That’s not the right answer."

  “He can’t say it,” I️ said. “I’m unsure he’s ever admitted it, to be honest.” I️ jutted my chin out to him.

  “Then this is the perfect time for you to come clean,” Pilgrim lady said. “As Puritans, we believe in telling the truth.”

  “Fine,” John yelled. He cleared his throat. “I️ met someone.”

  “And how did you meet her?” I️ goaded.

  “We were friends,” John mumbled so low I️ wasn’t sure if he’d actually used words or just made sounds.

  “What?” Pilgrim guy and lady said together as leaned toward him.

  “We were friends,” John said clearly.

  “Friends?” Pilgrim guy asked. “How good of friends?”

  “We may have gone on a vacation to New York City together.”

  “That’s it?” Pilgrim guy motioned with his hand to keep going.

  “And Universal Studios. Maybe Boston and Miami.”

  “Sounds like you guys were best friends,” Pilgrim guy said. “Was it the three of you?” He faced me. “Cuz bringing a girlfriend on vacation with you is weird and just asking for trouble.”

  “I️ thought you knew me better than that,” I️ said.

  “True,” Pilgrim guy said. “So, she was married and the four of you were best friends. That’s low man.”

  “You’re a bastard. I️ don’t feel too fond for the ‘other woman,’” Pilgrim lady said, using air quotes around “other” as she ended her sentence.

  “Where is she now?” Pilgrim guy asked.

  “Yeah, John, where is she?” I️ smiled. I️ really hoped these Pilgrims got what they wanted from management.

  “Who cares?” John said. He stroked his hair a few more times. “What matters is that we have three kids together and there was a time when we got along really well. We could get along well again if we both tried.”

  Pilgrim lady punched him in the arm.

  “Ow,” John said, rubbing the area she hit.

  “You should’ve come up with that brilliant idea when you were still married. It’s a little late now,” Pilgrim lady said. She studied John. “Other woman left you, didn’t she?” Pilgrim lady nudged Pilgrim guy’s shoulder with her own. “I️ bet he didn’t get her a good ring either.”

  Pilgrim guy looked knowingly at John. John wrapped his arms around himself. I️ wondered if it was wrong of me to be enjoying John’s discomfort this much. Shouldn’t I️ be over all of this pettiness?

  “Who cares if she left me?” John sounded defensive. “What matters is that Grace and I️ could have a second chance.”

  “You’re an idiot.” Pilgrim lady patted John on the head. It looked odd because she was so much shorter than him. “And you need to go away and leave our friend alone. She has a great guy and you need to spend some time alone figuring out who you are. You really need some me-time.”

  Pilgrim guy nodded. “You should get some buddies and go glamping in Yellowstone or the Appalachians. Or you can go to a dude ranch and figure out how to be a real man.” He considered John then shook his head disapprovingly.

  “That’s not very politically correct,” John said.

  Pilgrim guy put his hand on John's shoulder. “Sometimes your mental health is more important than being politically correct. You should go on a man camp. I’ve known boys to go on them and come back men. They’ve at least returned better at spitting.”

  “I️ want my family back,” John said.

  “You feel like a loser and want control back.” I️ said. I️ took a step toward him. “You don’t get it. I️ don’t want you. Leave. Me. Alone.”

  “You heard her,” Pilgrim lady said. She folded her arms and leaned her back against my side. Pilgrim guy leaned against my other side. We looked like a bad rap group.

  John slowly glared at each of us. He turned to the reunion group. They were walking toward the clay oven. I️ wondered if we would get fresh bread. I️’d go back to the group if it meant fresh bread. But first, I️ wanted to make sure John wouldn’t follow me. I️ stood where I️ was, battling my desire for carbs.

  He pointed at me. “I’m not going to give up that easily.”

  “You did before,” I said. “Why can’t you do that again?”

  He made two fists. “I’ll leave.” He looked at the two pilgrims. “You can’t listen to reason with these two around you.”

  The wind changed, and I️ sniffed fresh bread. I️ changed my mind. I️ wasn’t going to miss that for John. He’d caused me to miss so much in life already.

  I️ turned to Pilgrim guy and lady. “Thanks for the talk. I️ like you two. I️ hope you get insurance. I️ think I’m going to go get fresh bread now, though. I️ hope you don’t feel like I️’m deserting you.”

  “Could you bring us some of the bread?” Pilgrim guy asked.

  “You got it. It’s the least I️ can do, since I️ crossed the picket line.” I️ walked away and left my new friends to deal with John.

  16

  Once everyone was back on the bus and Rebecca had said goodbye to Justin with a lingering hug, she joined me in my car.

  “Where did you go?” she asked me.

  “I️ went to picket. I’m surprised you noticed with Justin being there.”

  Rebecca’s cheeks turned pink, and she cleared her throat. “It was fun getting to know Justin again.”

  I️ looked over at her as I️ waited for the buses to pull out in front of me.

  She covered her face with her hands. “I’m a horrible person, aren’t I️? I’m going to hell. I️ know I’m going to hell.” She peeked through her fingers. “How bad do you think it is there? Do you think Satan really looks like Tom Ellis? I️ could handle that.” Then she grabbed her stomach and moaned. “I️ think I️ may even die soon and go to hell.”

  I️ glanced over at her quickly then focused on the highway. She didn’t look as sick as she sounded.

  She sat back up. “Honestly. Tell me. How horrible of a person am I️?”

  “I️ don’t know what you actually did to warrant a fast pass to hell.”

  “I️ was flirting with Justin and having a great time, and I️ didn’t even think about Aidan. I️ mean, I️ did a little, but it was so easy to not think about him and just talk to Justin. It was so easy. So, so easy. Shouldn’t it be harder to not think about Aidan?” She put her hands over her eyes again.

  “I️ don’t think a lack of feeling towards your boyfriend warrants hell, necessarily. It does warrant a review of your relationship, but not hell.”

  She took her hands from her face. “I️ think it may be easier to deal with hell than the fact I️ was willing to give up everything for a guy I️ didn’t think much about when I️ was with my high school crush.”

  “Maybe it’s your destiny bringing you back together with your high school crush again. Maybe Aidan was just a bridge to get you from where you were to where you needed to be.”

  “Do you honestly think that that’s really a thing? A person getting another person to where they need to be? I️ think it’s a little cliché.” She relaxed into her seat.

  “Perhaps you should focus on your doctorate instead of men.” There was traffic, and I didn’t talk and drive in traffic very well. This conversation felt too intense to have while I️ was trying to figure out what lane was best to drive in. I️ hoped she would keep talking for the next twenty minutes while I️ just nodded occasionally.

  “How is it that I️ was madly in love with Aidan this morning? I️ honestly was. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. How can I️ trust my feelings ever again if I️ can’t keep that feeling going while I’m at a stupid high school reunion?”

  I️ didn’t answer right away, hoping she’d keep talking. She didn’t.

  “Have you thought you might jus
t be reliving high school and the moment you’re no longer among your peers your fascination with Justin may disappear? Reunions can screw up the mind.”

  She wiggled a bit in her seat. “I️ guess you could be right. I’ve been so stressed out and wondering if all of this would go alright; if everyone would have fun and if I️ would have fun. Maybe that’s it.”

  We pulled into my driveway next to Simon’s BMW. I️ shut off the ignition and turned toward Rebecca. “How are you feeling? Have you convinced yourself you're a good person yet?”

  She nodded a few times but didn’t make a move to get out of the car.

  “Talk to me,” I️ said. “Simon and all three boys are in there and the way my day is going, John is probably on his way—which means I️’m probably going to get into a fight tonight and get arrested at some point. So, this is going to be the best time for us to talk.”

  Rebecca rocked back and forth a couple of times while hugging herself. “I️ think I’m okay. I️ think I’m just going to go to sleep.”

  “It’s five.”

  “That’s great.”

  “I️ think you’re making a bigger deal about this than you need to.”

  “Would you do something like this with Simon in your life now?”

  “No,” I️ said automatically. I️ wished I️’d paused just a little because Rebecca started rocking again.

  “I’m going to hell and Tom Ellis isn’t going to be there.” She stopped and looked at me. “Should I️ break up with Aidan?”

  “I️ think you should go home and call him and then see how you feel about him and about Justin. Then show up to help decorate tomorrow and we can talk more about it. I️ don’t think you’re going to have any solution until you dance with Justin tomorrow night.” I️ pulled my hair back. “I️ gotta say I️ thought a dance was so stupid when you came up with it, but now I️ can see the wisdom of it. A reunion homecoming dance is perfect for a fifth-year reunion.”

  “Is Simon coming?”

  “Of course.” I️ tried to remember if I’d told him about it or if I’d just assumed I️’d told him about it. I️ had a lot on my mind. None of this was my fault.

  “I️ didn’t invite Aidan. Do you think that means anything?”